In Your freedom

Lord, I may not be a perfect daughter. But I try my very best to be. I try my best to follow Your will for me. I may fall many times. It is difficult enough to know that I have hurt you. I humbly bow down and look upon Your loving mercy towards me. Here I am broken and empty. I thank you and praise You still for Your faithfulness. Help me to listen to Your voice of truth. Help me to obey whatever You tell me. Help me to continue to love and serve you in all my ways. Without you, I am nothing. Apart from You, oh God, I am hopeless. In all these, I sincerely pray. Please hold my hand and be with me as I struggle to stand still in the storms of life. I know that nothing is impossible with you oh God. To You, I lift up everything. To You, I surrender. Thank you for Your love like no other. Bless Your holy name through Jesus and the intercession of mother Mary. Amen.

Deeper in Faith - 1st Household

Before I rest for the night, I just need to write this first. Today was our very first household with my sisters in the community. Since it was our first household, I hosted the event as their newly installed household head. I am happy that after being delayed and moved to different dates it finally pushed through. Although we were not complete because two of our sisters were not able to join us because of some reasons still it was a spirit-filled afternoon. Hopefully they will both be able to join us next time so we can be complete.Anyway after the household, we attended the last mass at around 7 o'clock pm. It was a Visayan mass. 

The Scripture Reading was taken from: Luke 5:1-11. As the priest delivered his homily, there were several points he mentioned but there was one thing that struck me the most. He said "go deeper in your faith". One should never be contented of the normal prayer, memorizing many novenas or reciting the Holy Rosary 10 times a day. For those who are already senior citizens, one should not ask for longer life. Not implying so that they can die sooner and save their sons and daughters from taking care of them but because they have lived their lives. More so they should ask God to take them deeper in their faith. Everyone is going to die anyway! So why ask for a longer life? So you can experience a lot of things? So you can achieve more? What for? So you can leave a legacy? So what? 

There may be many realizations that may come from reflecting on this wonderful message. But this is worth noting a constant reminder to all of us who easily forget. The time you allow Jesus to take over the "boat" is the only time you allow Him to take you deeper into the "sea". Only when you allow Jesus to take over your life is the moment that He will take you deeper in faith. This entails trust, patience, and perseverance. We should never be satisfied with our technical/mechanical relationship with God. We should be bolder and wiser. Always strive to be better if not best. God bless you! 

Amen.

. . .what next??

oh well..

I think..

I worry..

I feel..

I anticipate..

I comtemplate..

I consider..

I search..

I rely..

I dream..

I hope..

I stare..

I laugh..

I smile..

I am..

My Friend, My Everything

In the beginning You have loved

I, You have constantly pursued

I kept ignoring you still

But God you're so persistent

Wherever, I will follow

Follow whenever You lead

What to do in this misery?

My Lord, do whatever You will

Yours is a kingdom never ending

Your undying love overflowing

My heart is filled with so much joy

In doubt and confusion gives me peace

Will make my prayers into a song

Gladly sing it aloud for You

Forever in my heart

Here You stay as I walk this earth

More than a hero

More than a king

No one can keep us apart

My lover, my friend, my everything!

Written: October 5, 2009

"What's Stopping You?"

I usually wonder what if I could do all the things I wanted to do. I mean I have countless ideas of what I want to do! Oh well, I guess everyone does if given the chance. Right? Seriously speaking it's true, I can think of tons. So true that it confuses me at times. Lol! It would be so cool to live the life that you imagined in your mind. We often see our friends and other people doing so much, going anywhere and buying everything they wanted.

Then earlier today, I was chatting over-the-phone with a close friend of mine Gigi and one of my office mate Mam Julie who shared to me their hopes and dreams when they were younger. My office mate said that when she was still in college, she was a working student. At that time she thought of continuing her studies even after graduation. She dreamed of having a graduate degree and somehow be in the academe. If she knew then what she knew now she would have pursued it. On the other hand, the last time I shared to Gigi that a cousin of mine Munching is convincing me to pursue law school for a number of reasons. Although I think the idea is kind of silly because of some reasons he gave. I do get his point and it makes good sense. Anyway, Gigi was really encouraging me to go for it. She said if she had the chance that I have she would. take it. She always wanted to be a lawyer. It was one of her ambition. Instead, she told me if she can't make it happen for herself then maybe one of her daughters can. 

Reflecting on what they had said to me made me realize how blessed I am because I am living someone else's dream. Although I don't have everything that I want in life. It made me wonder how many out there is dreaming to live the life that I'm living or wanting to have a family to support them like I do or being surrounded with so much love like I am. Despite being well aware that so many people around the world don't even have a chance to help themselves, to be educated, to be cared for, among other things, I usually forget how lucky I am.

And I'm just glad for the constant reminder of being blessed and to really pursue what is in your heart. I believe the desires in our hearts exist for a purpose. It's a unique gift for each one of us. More often than not, we have second thoughts about it. We doubt ourselves if it would really be possible for us to be able to achieve it. The fact that we are breathing right now is a proof that there is hope. It is possible. It is doable. The only thing that we have to do is to be very sure of it and decide. Because until then, you won't be able to move forward. Everything you do in life starts with a decision unless you do so then you will be stuck at the same spot where you are now. So the question is, "What's stopping you?".

I Caught Myself by Paramore

Down to you
You're pushing and pulling me down to
But I don't know what I
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you

You're pushing and pulling me down too
But I don't know what I want
No I don't know what I want

You got it, you got it
Some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic
You're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this
You're not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you

You're pushing and pulling me down too
But I don't know what I want
No I don't know what I want

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
But I know in my heart it's not you

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
I'm saying something that I should have never thought of you
I knew, I know in my heart it's not you
I never know what I want, I want, I want
Oh no, I should have never thought

Posted: December 17, 2009

DECODE by Paramore

How can I decide what's right?
When you're clouding up my mind
Can't win your losing fight all the time
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
You wont take away my pride
No not this time
Not this time

How did we get here?
I use to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And its hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood,
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own
(I'm screaming "I love you so..." But my thoughts you can't decode)

How did we get here?
I use to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know

Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves
Do you see what we've done?
We're gonna make such fools of ourselves

How did we get here?
I use to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I use to know you so well

I think I know
I think I know
There is something that I see in you
It might kill me I want it to be true

Posted:  December 17, 2009

Divine Mercy Chaplet

1. Begin with the Sign of the Cross, 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and The Apostles Creed.

2. Then on the Our Father Beads say the following:

Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

3. On the 10 Hail Mary Beads say the following:
For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

(Repeat step 2 and 3 for all five decades).

4. Conclude with (three times):

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

In 1933, God gave Sister Faustina a striking vision of His Mercy,
Sister tells us:
"I saw a great light, with God the Father in the midst of it.
Between this light and the earth I saw Jesus nailed to the Cross
and in such a way that God, wanting to look upon the earth, had to
look through Our Lord's wounds and I understood that God blessed
the earth for the sake of Jesus."

Of another vision on Sept. 13, 1935, she writes:

"I saw an Angel, the executor of God's wrath... about to strike
the earth...I began to beg God earnestly for the world with words
which I heard interiorly. As I prayed in this way, I saw the
Angel's helplessness, and he could not carry out the just
punishment...."

The following day an inner voice taught her to say this prayer on
ordinary rosary beads:

"First say one 'Our Father', 'Hail Mary', and 'I believe'. Then on
the large beads say the following words:

'Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity
of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement
for our sins and those of the whole world.'

On the smaller beads you are to say the following words:

'For the sake of His sorrowful Passion have mercy on us and on the
whole world.'

In conclusion you are to say these words three times:

'Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us
and on the whole world'.

Jesus said later to Sister Faustina:

"Say unceasingly this chaplet that I have taught you. Anyone who
says it will receive great Mercy at the hour of death. Priests
will recommend it to sinners as the last hope. Even the most
hardened sinner, if he recites this Chaplet even once, will
receive grace from My Infinite Mercy. I want the whole world to
know My Infinite Mercy. I want to give unimaginable graces to
those who trust in My Mercy...."

"....When they say this Chaplet in the presence of the dying, I
will stand between My Father and the dying person not as the just
judge but as the Merciful Savior". 

"Relationship"

Building a relationship with God is a decision. Most of us will say "Yeah I know God", "I  know He loves me", "I talk to Him", "I pray to him". 

But here is the question, when was your last intimate moment with Him? Take note of the word "intimate"   Try to reflect on this. 

Let me ask you again, How do you assess you "relationship"? Is it one-way? two-way? Boring? Does it excite you? Is it dry? Technical? Is it a long list of wants and needs? Have you listened to Him with your whole heart? When you spend time with Him did you give Him your undivided attention? Is your prayer all about you? Or is it about others? Is your relationship moving up to the next level? I mean is it progressing?

Only you can answer these questions. Being in a relationship requires not only words but actions for it to grow. It requires love, effort, and TIME. As I said earlier, "A relationship with God is a decision". It is a commitment. Let us be reminded that this world is just temporary. Behind all the worldly things that we face each day it was really never about us. But all about GOD.

Let me share you a guide that I've used many times. I can say it has really helped me a lot in our relationship. Perhaps you also want to try it. May it bless you much more that it has personally blessed me. 

MIRACLE HOUR by Linda Schubert

https://www.facebook.com/notes/vanz-go/miracle-hour-by-linda-schubert/10151343490251944

Written: Sunday, December 9, 2012 at 10:57pm

Hmmm..

I am not used to this..

You know I have never known love

Like this what we have now

Never knew I could feel this much

To be so alive, how could it be

Seems like a love overflowing

But hurts all at once

Oh what to do in this

mysterious misery

Written:  Monday, November 26, 2012 at 9:14pm