My Heart Bleeds

My heart bleeds with the thought of losing you
I am not prepared, nor will I every be
Life is so ironic

Just when things are starting to get better
Ohh, there you go again!
These things you do

My heart bleeds with the thought of ever losing you
I remember once or twice I asked, "God, please not now"
And He is good indeed, He granted my every plead.

Now, again, I look up to the heavens above
To grant my prayer with all thy love
I breathe, and yes, I want you to live!

A life full of peace and gladness
I am saddened, I feel helpless
I can't do anything for you unless you do

I feel sorry and scared for you
I kind of hate you with these things you do
But I know, I shouldn't

I forgive you now, please forgive me too
And I pray, that you will be drawn out of the darkness into light
Oh God, only you can save him now.

We Are Going To Be Fine

Oh God. It does hurt.
It's not easy. It never is.
Loving can feel like heaven.
And hurt like hell at the same time.
Crushes my free spirit and breaks me apart.
I have not been always been like this.
But I admit I got hold up
Whether I got blind-sided or really fell.
Well, it doesn't really matter anymore now.
Doesn't it?
Tears me up inside.
No one will ever know my pain.
It's something that I will chesrish.
Along with all the joy and laughter.
The tears I have cried.
The secrets I have kept.
Make no mistake about it.
I am not going back to where I have been before.
I have picked up the pieces.
Moving forward and on with my life.
I hope you too.
Be well on your way.
I guess we are not meant here to stay.
So, yes, I guess this is gonna be goodbye.
I guess we both gonna need to try.
To let go of the things we used to love.
To let go of the thought of "us".
To say goodbye to a life together.
Because it was great then it wasn't.
We tried to make it work
But we just got to accept that ours is not forever
It doesn't end here of course.
Each of us will work things on our own.
We're going to figure it all out.
Just not together.
And we are going to be fine.

Marriage & Divorce 1.0

Attended Sunday Mass today at the Lady of Manaoag which happens to be her 1st ever feast day at LimKetKai. I was with my Mom, Dad, and Lola whom I call mama. They were set to watch the Don Moen Concert which I bought a week ago. I, on the other hand, didn't have anything else to do. The lower priced tickets were already sold out. So I decided to watch a movie instead while waiting for them. I have been wanting to watch Heneral Luna in theaters but unfortunately, I didn't have much of a choice since Etiquette of Mistresses was the only one they're showing and nothing else.

I can't believe I got stuck watching the movie, alone and a Tagalog one to say the least. But then again, these kinds of Mistress films are so "uso" in this time and age. It doesn't surprise me if it becomes "uso" in real life as showbiz and media have played a very important role in molding this generation by simply advertising it every now and then. Lol. I just hope the youth gets the morale of these stories.

Anyway, I loved the gospel today it connected with the movie. It was about the beginning of time when God made heaven and earth, and Adam and Eve. How and why God made woman from a man's rib, bone from his bone, flesh from his flesh. It was about Marriage - what God has joined together no man can tear apart. It talks about the oneness of Christ between two people who bind themselves in love, willingly, selflessly, joyfully. Marriage is allowing ourselves to change and be changed. Two individuals becoming one. It was about the Pharisees questioning Jesus whether it was right for a woman to divorce her husband and vice versa.

The priest homily was so full of wisdom but the most striking of them all was when he said, the gospel is not only directed to a married couples being divorced. It was for all married or single alike because divorce is not just about the fear, insecurity, irreconcilable differences or whatever the reason maybe. Divorce is simply the hardness of heart. Divorce is the easy and fast exit out of the "till death do us part vow".

Marriage is a sacrament, precious and blessed by God. All relationships can be in a state of divorce. This happens when one chooses to exclude/cut off/reject/forget/abuse/neglect that the relationship exists whether it's is a brother, a sister, a mother, a father, a friend, a relative, a lover or whatever relationships you have. When you chose to end it, it is in a state of divorce. Jesus answered the Pharisees that divorce was allowed among them by Moses in the old testament because of the hardness of their hearts.

But then again in the beginning of time, God made it divine. It is in the faithfulness of relationships that God's ultimate purpose is fulfilled and that is - Love, being sanctified in each of our relationships.

May you be blessed in all your relationships. May you have the strength to chose God's righteousness all the days of your life. Amen.

Timeless

The past has gone
The present is here to stay
The future, not so far away
Just the same, You are with me

Whether it be my past
Or present
Surely as well in the future
You always be

My lover, my strength, my friend
From now til eternity and beyond

Constant

I sit and stare
I hope and pray
This life, this love
Oh please just stay

I think and dream
I walk and run
This world, this place
Full of reason, full of fun

Oh You are here.
Oh You are there.
Oh You are just everywhere!
Constant, never failing.

My love, my life
Not mine but you have given
All I am, all I have
Truly You, oh God have risen!

Faithful and just
Beautiful Jesus, my King
Humble and meek
Forever, to you I will sing

As constant as the stars
As you are in my life
I am forever yours
You are forever mine

One Faithful Early Morning!

Tuesday
July 21, 2015

What am I to do with you? Do you not know me yet after all these times? Why do you doubt me? Me, who given you everything? Me, who loves you so much?

I know everything about you. Why do you doubt me? I know and want what's best for you. Is it too much to ask you to trust me? Trust me. I will never forsake you. I have laid out a beautiful plan, my perfect plan just for you. All you need to do is trust me. Jump off the boat. I am here to catch and hold you throughout. You never have to worry even a bit. Oh, you! Why such a worrier. You can get anxious about little things. Anxious of things in your head that really doesn't matter. Stop worrying and let me have your fears. Cast to me all your burden. I will give you rest. All the plans I have, all the hopes and dreams I have planted them in your heart. Never forget that I will make things possible because I know you love me.

Yes, you are a quite a disobedient child, my daughter. Quite spoiled but I love you just the same. Now, stop wondering if this is just you speaking because it's me talking to you, speaking to you. Oh, what do I have to do for you to stop doubting and just believe? Believe. Believe me.

Trust and have faith. Faith can move mountains. My faith I put unto you. No spot of doubt, not even a drop. I love you.

Trust and have peace. When and where you are now, I have laid out my plans for you. I love you.

I bring you nothing but the best. Stop worrying what others say whether or not they are in favor of the person you love, who you will marry. I have laid out everything just be patient and you'll see. I have given my promise, right? Just wait for things to unfold. You need not worry a thing. I will provide you with everything you need. Just wait and see. Be patient with me. I am patient with you. I will cleanse you, bright and new. I am making you new. My purpose in you will be fulfilled. I need you to carry out my commandments faithfully. I need you to be strong and true. Stay true to the mission. I will pave the way for all impossibilities to make it possible.

You are going to be my faithful servant just like Jonas. I will bless you to bless my people in all walks of life. Have confidence in my love. I will make the world know you are my witness, my faithful witness.

You will serve me with zealous joy only I can give. I will give and provide all you need and you will love me and my people. Your brothers and sisters shall be like your own. You will carry out my commandment to bring back to me all my lost sheeps. You will be my champion, my warrior. Have confidence in me as I have confidence in you. Don't belittle yourself.

I am your God, your Awesome God. The God who made heaven and earth, who made all things bright and beautiful. Yes! Bright and beautiful! I am a beautiful God. The Great I am. I am. I am your God and no other.I get such delight in that. I love you despite your faults and failures, shortcomings. I love you still. I love you forever. Yes! Forever! I am forever. May forever. I am exactly that. Your forever. And I love you forever.

Now let my people know and let them feel my love. Reach out to them. Go boldly to the world. Never be ashamed of who you are because you are Me. You are my image. The Great I am. I am in every cell of you. Isn't that wonderful? Each one of you, I have individually created, crafted in your own uniqueness, your own imprint. My imprint in your genes is made. For you are with me and I am in you. I love you.

Set yourself free, as I have set you free of all the worries. I think of you every day. Not a second goes by that I don't think of you.

You may just be busy doing whatever it is your doing. But, I'm just here. I am with you in everything you do. I see the good, the bad, everything. Everything in life, in your life.

Be free from the bondage of this life. After all, I am with you and besides, you don't belong to this world. You belong to me. Only to me.

Remember, I am a jealous God. You will love and serve only me. I will give you everything you need, want, ask for. I will give you the best, the best of me.

Remember, I am living in you, so rest assured all will go according to plan. Trust and believe. Have faith. Everything will fall into place.

Everything has its own time. Just wait and be patient. Love. Love. Love. And let not fears push you off course. Stop with the noise. You have your mission at hand. I am with you just continue to trust. I love you.

Never doubt me and my works, my promise, my covenant. It will come true. I love you, my child. I have missed you all these times. Use the gifts I have blessed and given you. Else, I will take it away. Use it for my glory, for my purpose to gather my children, my people back to me. And pray always.

I will and I am waiting for you all. For I have called you all each one by name. That you may come to me and know me and love me and serve me. That you my lost sheep, my people, will be with your Shepherd. And forever we'll rejoice your coming back into my kingdom. In heaven, where you will dwell the rest of your days peacefully, joyfully forever. Amen. Amen.

My peace will set you free from the bondage of every known evil and forever. You will be free. Free from the dominion of evil, from every sickness because I will heal you and make you whole again, give you peace that you've always wanted and aspired for. Only I can give that. No one else can. My love. My love, come with me. I am with you. Never forget that.

Your worries are safe with me. Be free to live the life I have given you. In joyfully serving me, pleasing me in ways that I have taught you. In carrying the mission, I have set out for you, do not be afraid. I love you.

Goodbye. Goodbye for now. I will let you rest and I look forward to speaking with you again privately and throughout the day may your thoughts be filled with my grace, love, and mercy. I love you my child, my daughter, my princess, my love. Sleep well and think of me always. I love you.

-Papa God Forever

Love Revolution

I've been seeing all the famous topic about Same Sex Marriage flooding my feeds today. Views and opinions of friends, families and acquaintances. I respect all of their sides. I have many friends who are also part of the LGBT community. Yet, I love them just the same. But this one is over the top, mocking God is hitting below the belt. Then again, I believe this is done by those who are not in their right minds. I believe that even my friends in the LGBT community respect and love God, being the God that He is and therefore, would not do anything like this to mock OUR God. They too have their faith in Him. We are all sinners and we all are struggling in our sins but we are striving to be better to please God in the best way we can and we know how. I believe this mockery is set for us to bash and hate each other. But I urge everyone regardless of religion, sexual preferences, and belief to "Hate the sin not the sinner", to pray for each other, to forgive, and to love more. Simply because GOD is LOVE. We are made for, by and with love. ‪#‎GodisanAwesomeGod‬ ‪#‎GODisLOVe‬‪#‎LoveMore‬ ‪#‎LoveRevolution‬

PROJECT 100

I am on a mission. I always have this longing to help out whenever I can,  even when I can't. But most of the time, I am distracted. Thus,  I fail. Still, I continue to strive. I may hear some comments and people may judge me of my decisions or indecisions, that is fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I believe that there is a reason for everything and every event has its own purpose, whether it be good or bad. But basically, that is up to you, how you see things. Our perpective makes a lot of difference.

Anyway, as I venture on yet another new horizon, it is something that always gets to me even when I was still in highschool. This is financial freedom through healthcare, insurance and investments. Looking back, I was 3rd year then, if I remember correctly, we were asked by our English teacher to write a term paper about anything that interests us.

I later found myself writing about the International Marketing Group (IMG), a company which offers healthcare, insurance, and investments like mutual fund and real estate. It acts as a broker. I was still 15 years young then, in 2001. I interviewed my uncle and his wife who were part of it. I listened intently to their lectures, so I could write my piece. After college when I was already working, my uncle talked to me about signing up and get healthcare for myself. So, I did. It wasn't hard for him to convince me, since I already knew what it was and I perfectly understood what it is for. But unfortunately, I got caught up with the "Cebu lifestyle and being young". I eventually forgot about how important it was.

A few years later, I visited my cousins who at that time were recently assigned in town. They were connected with Prulife UK. I wasn't able to sign up then, because I left my extra cash at home. Then about 3 years ago around April, I signed up with Insular Life with a dear friend and eventually ended up lapsing my policy because come May I decided to quit my job, go back to Iligan and  pursue my masters degree. Oh well,  yes, I know what your thinking,  that "I am crazy!", perhaps, and "I just wasted my money", I agree. There is no denying, I definitely did! Most of all, "Sayang!". True. It was indeed.

Nevertheless, I regard it as an investment I have made to myself because of those experiences, I was able to learn invaluable lessons. Now I'm more determined to not only secure myself but also secure those around me. That they too will be able to sustain the monthly investments in the long run. Thus, providing security and peace of mind to their respective families.

I know it isn't an easy task. Told you,  I've been there. Done that. Right?!  I requires discipline and will to remove ourselves from the rat race, that is - living from paycheck to paycheck, sustaining loans, paying bills and what not, with every peso we earn. You might think at this moment, "I don't even receive much". But then again,  if I may say "it is not how big you earn but how much you keep that makes the difference".

After recently resigning from my medrep job, I pursued one of the many things I dreamed of. Now,  I am happily connected with AXA - Metrobank, as a Financial Advisor. AXA is not an acronym for anything. Instead, it was chosen as a brand name of the Paris based company, simply, because it was easy to pronounce and has same pronunciation across the globe. It is a multinational company which provides insurance and investment to over 102 million people in 58 countries. With their investments being managed by Metrobank, the strongest bank in the Philippines. We know for a fact that we are "In good hands with Metrobank".

All that said,  I am off for an adventure to educate and secure the financial future of my countrymen. That together, we will be able to achieve financial freedom. So we may have time for our money and money for our time. I claim that I would be able to help at least 100 people to achieve the dreams planted in their hearts. After all,  nothing is impossible when you believe. It starts in the mind. "What your mind can conceive your body can acheive" one of the famous sayings.

Let us be one step closer to abundance not in the next lifetime but in this life. Let's talk and plan ahead. Now is the best time. Not later. By now, remember that we don't have all the time we want and need in this world. Time is of the essence. Please feel free to contact me by commenting below. Thanks for reading! Talk to you really soon. Receive abundance.

Excited for you,
Vanz

Oh Philippines!

I was down at our Barangay Hall yesterday. I went there past eight in the morning together with my parents. They were getting some papers from the office while I line up to apply for my voter's id from the COMELEC since they were in town to cater to new applicants and those who are transferring to vote here and the like.

There were already a bunch of people lining up. On second thought, there was actually no line. I mean the first phase of application, that is getting the forms, particularly has no line because people were stampeding toward the door. The second phase was to have your filled up form tallied on a record book so you can obtain your application number. Then, proceed to the third phase to have your picture and biometrics taken. After that, the last phase was to mark both thumbs on the form and submit.

The senior citizens, disabled, pregnant and those with children were given priority. While I was there, I observed how the seemingly rich just went pass everyone, as though a fast lane was provided for them too. And some of the people, who were able to notice it, was just left with not much, but to murmur. Talk about power play. Tsk. Tsk.

All of the people wanted to get it over and done with. Some were discretely cutting in the line. Perhaps,  it is a part of human instinct, the urge to get ahead of everyone else. What do you think? Or I guess the lack of discipline and respect for others. It seems so apparently rampant nowadays. Which would it be? We always see it everyday all around us in the news (scams and the like), in the streets (hold up), in our workplace (kiss ass) and even at home (sibling rivalry). Just a few examples of everyday life, as we live it.

Then, I saw this old man of 69, if I remember correctly. He was sitting holding his form. I asked what he was waiting for, since he should have been given priority. I learned that he was illiterate. I spoke with a woman who with him to assist. I thought she was his daughter but she told me she was a wife of one of her sons. She told me there was none but her who pursued to accompany the old man and two other illiterate boys. No one else was willing to go, maybe because everyone else back home were too ashamed to be lining up with them. She doesn't know if it's because of the lack of money or the deliberate disregard for education of their parents that cause them this unfortunate destiny.

Experiencing yesterdays so called "turmoil" (you know how it is with government services) left me with mixed emotions. I felt disgusted and irritated because of the lack of discipline, respect, and education of the people especially the power play that took place. At the same time, it was heart breaking to witness mostly the poor bringing their children with visible scars and allergies on their skin. Some brought their babies. There were even newly born present under the scorching heat of the sun. Their mothers breastfeeding them to sleep. Perhaps, because there was no one else to babysit for them. Oh what a sad sad reality this is. Helpless, they do not have much of a choice but succumb to what poverty has brought them. It got me to thinking if I am really sure I want to settle here in the "Pearl of the Orient Seas" or am I better off somewhere else. All the scams we hear everyday, such has become a norm. Even I felt the helplessness it brings. How could we ever change the way that it has been.

Disheartened, I can only do so much as to pray for our nation and be a good citizen. I'm hoping justice is served to where justice is due. Many has suffered and are still suffering and it gets worse by the second. May our land be healed and people be reunited to stand side by side to do what is right and just, not because, people are watching but because of the passion to serve with honor and utmost sincerity for the Philippines and the Filipino people.

Never perfect not even close

I know that I can never be perfect, not even close in my ways and stuborness. It is only by your grace that I am able. Only by your mercy that I am forgiven and renewed. I am nothing without you. I do not deserve even a glimpse of daylight or a breath of life but with you I am able. You are most kind and generous my God. What more can I ask for? You give without asking. You love without expecting. You simply have your amazing ways that never fails to cheer me up. You make me want to be a better person even if I know that good works do not necessarily merit your kingdom. Thank you for constantly having me in your thoughts and keeping my interest at heart even if you never really need to. After all, you are God. Thank you for your unconditional love that overwhelms me day ad night. Thank you my faithful and loving God!