I am nervously excited for 2017 and everything that comes along with it. I have been pacing back and forth about a career change and I have decided to move forward. It's not that, I don't value what I already have. But rather, I want more. I want to give more to the world just because I can. I have been slacking off and I know it's unhealthy. And even if I have a good high paying job right now, I wouldn't feel satisfied enough to stay still and keep it.
I have this relentless desire to do work that is worthwhile. I mean, the usual commercial jobs that have employees work for profit doesn't fascinate me that much. I mean yes, I am interested in stock trading, entreprenuership, increasing wealth and what not, but there is a different and deeper sense of fulfillment when you are able to help others, progressing and succeeding in alleviating themselves from poverty. When you see how people are suffering so much because of it, you want to do something! You want to just go out and do something. But how? Where do I start?
As an Economist, we were taught about demand and supply and how it drives the prices up and down. Trade-offs. Comparative Advantages. Macro and Micro Economics. Essentially, allocation of scarce resources, well resources are not actually scarce. It is in fact, abundant. However, it is just not accessible to most people especially the poor, and that is what makes it scarce.
When I think about earning for a living, or earning to live your dreams, it's not a selfish goal. Rather, when you help yourself, you help everyone around you because you are able to take care of your needs and perhaps be able to help out with other people's needs too. In this case, you are not dependent on others. This in turn, makes people who are independent contribute to the overall welfare of everyone else in their family, their country, and the economy as a whole. By being a responsible and productive citizen one becomes a contributor of progress. I long for sustainable development. It would be great for all to just help one another. I admire people who go out of their way to help others especially strangers. I want to be part of that progress. I mean, I need to be one of those people. With it, I will be most fulfilled.
So I listed just a few goals to keep in mind in the days to come. Just so I will be reminded of what needs to be done. :)
I never knew love until you came - Romantic love, that is. You see, I have always stayed away from those things. I have stopped myself time and again from falling. I have kept my feelings at bay. I have built walls that have kept me safe for years. But, God had a different plan. He reached out to me. He healed me in so many ways than one. He saved me from a decision that would have changed the course of my life forever. I was healed and saved by grace. He revealed to me. He pursued me. And I helplessly fell for Him. He, little by little, changed my perspective. He, little by little, gave me wisdom. He, little by little, opened my heart.
He allowed me to be healed and be whole. He gave me the time I needed to grow in faith and love with Him. Then, he let me fall for you. I took the risk. I took the risk I was not willing to take with others who tried. I took the risk with you! You see, I have never loved anyone like I loved you. You were exactly who I prayed for. You were exactly the answer to my prayer. Perhaps, I never told you, but you were. You were, loving, caring, humble, kind, obedient, respectful, and generous, although, annoyingly funny, I still laugh at your silly jokes. You made me smile. You loved me more than I love myself. You made life worthwhile. We grew together in our love and faith in Him. That’s what I love in our relationship. God is in it. He is with us.
Mine was a difficult choice. It broke my heart to break up with you. You see, we could have been “almost” perfect for each other, almost, because no one is perfect after all. From the beginning until now, I have been constantly praying. I have been praying for the best for you. I have been praying for your happiness. I have been praying that God grant you the deepest desires of your heart. I have been praying for your good health. I have been praying for you to live a blessed life. Oh God, I have been praying! And even if I’m moving on, even if I’m moving forward, I honestly think about us and what we used to have and how we used to love. And that even for a period, those years we had, those moments which passed, I will forever cherish. And mind you, I will forever hold close to my heart. Because for a moment there, I thought that you were the one. Because for a moment there, I thought you will be my better half. Because for a moment there, I thought ours is my favorite love story.
Yahoo! I've had a productive day. I am happy Janet and I was able to push through with our activity. And I was able to meet up with EJ, my SFC sis. We talked and talked and talked. It was fun exchanging stories. I look forward to our next meeting. I've given her assignment. So, I am excited for her how she will go about making her assignment for our next activity. Haha! Please bless us God! Yahoo! Thank you in advance Jesus. :)
Here's my prayer for tonight:
"Yes, Oh Lord, My Beautiful God, indeed. Thank you for allowing me to know and love you Lord God. Thank you for pursuing me. Thank you for making me worthy. Thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you for looking beyond my sinful nature. Thank you for hating the sin and not the sinner. Thank you, Lord for allowing me to fall in love with You. Thank You so much for being so kind and gracious to me. I could not ask for more than this love You have for me. I could not ask for more than you are already giving, because it's too much. It is definitely more than I deserve. You are just too generous. No one can ever surpass your generosity. Thank You Jesus. Thank You for making me love you each day, for allowing me to see Your ways, to understand your wisdom, and acknowledge You in my life. I continue to lift up my plans to You oh God, help me. For Your plans are better than mine, and Your grace is marvelously overflowing my cup. Thank You for making me still in times when I am robbed of my peace. Thank You for comforting me Jesus. You are most loving, oh God. You always mind our well being. Thank You for giving me the knowledge and wisdom, the skills and gifts, the necessary things that allow me to serve Your purposes. Continue to use me, mold me, make me an instrument of Your love and peace, in making this world a better place and bringing Your people back to You. Thank You for giving us many chances to change our wicked ways. I can never thank You enough to show how grateful I am for the gift of YOU. I just love you Lord and I can't help it. You are too lovable to ignore. Haha! :* " - Vanz
Speak now oh God, your daughter is listening.
The Daily Offering
Ezekiel 46:13-15
13 The Lord says, “Every morning a one-year-old lamb without any defects is to be burned whole as an offering to the Lord. This offering must be made every day. 14 Also an offering of five pounds of flour is to be made every morning, along with one quart of olive oil for mixing with the flour. The rules for this offering to the Lord are to be in force forever. 15 The lamb, the flour, and the olive oil are to be offered to the Lord every morning forever.”
Daily offering.. Hmmm.. Every morning forever, it says, "We will have daily offering to God". I guess the lamb, flour, and the olive oil in this passage symbolize our body, soul, and heart as an offering to Him as we live each day. This life He has given is a gift from Him. And in return, it is His desire that we offer every bit of our being back to Him as his beloved disciples. It is His delight and our best interest to obey His commands because He is the path to righteousness, and a life worth living for. We belong to Him and it is but right, to give Him back all the glory.
Oh my! I guarantee you will love this song! I know I do! It's "Beautiful God" by Citipointe. One of the perfect worship songs of all time. Haha! I just love it jud! Super! Sometimes, it just randomly plays on my mind. It's about how beautiful God is and how easy it is to fall in love with Him. Enjoy! God bless! :)
I've been receiving this weird texts since early morning and the person even called me at 7am! Imagine that! It's too early for me to be having phone calls. Naturally, I didn't answer. I hate being woken up by anything or anyone in the morning. It's starting to get on my nerves. I believe it is some sort of mistaken identity. Also, last night I had this weird caller. He didn't tell me who he was but he knows me because he called me by my name. I asked over and over who he was but he wouldn't tell. So of course, I hung up. Then, he texted. I never replied. I don't have time for nonsense conversations and with a stranger, to say the least.
Nina and I were supposed to meet in the afternoon but she got caught up with her things to do and other activities. So, perhaps next time we will. It heavily poured again earlier. Honey was on her way home since she didn't have class on Thursday and Friday. So we met at Ayala and went home together. Oh my, I still need to wake up early tomorrow Janet and I have things to do. :)
"I don't quite know what more to say to you Lord. You know all the things that are constantly running through my mind. I lift them up to You, oh Lord. Every thought, every word and action, every decision I will be making may it be according to Your will not mine. May Your will be done in my life. Continue to guide and guard me, protect me from all evil and evil doers. Bless my loved ones, my friends and their families too. Bless as well the work of my hands every person I will meet. Especially my clients here and abroad, keep them safe and healthy. Please bless them with the abundance of Your love, mercy and grace. I pray for healing for those who are sick, for comfort to those who are mourning, to the neglected, abandoned, abused, aborted, bless them oh Lord. You know exactly what we are going through. Your people are desperate for your love. Strengthen us all. In Jesus name, I pray. Amen. Thank You Jesus. I love You always." - Vanz
Speak oh Lord, your servant is listening.
THE FUTURE GLORY
Romans 8:18-30
18 I consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed to us. 19 All of creation waits with eager longing for God to reveal his children. 20 For creation was condemned to lose its purpose, not of its own will, but because God willed it to be so. Yet there was the hope 21 that creation itself would one day be set free from its slavery to decay and would share the glorious freedom of the children of God. 22 For we know that up to the present time all of creation groans with pain, like the pain of childbirth. 23 But it is not just creation alone which groans; we who have the Spirit as the first of God's gifts also groan within ourselves as we wait for God to make us his children and[a] set our whole being free. 24 For it was by hope that we were saved; but if we see what we hope for, then it is not really hope. For who of us hopes for something we see? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
26 In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express. 27 And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit pleads with God on behalf of his people and in accordance with his will.
28 We know that in all things God works for good with those who love him, those whom he has called according to his purpose. 29 Those whom God had already chosen he also set apart to become like his Son, so that the Son would be the first among many believers. 30 And so those whom God set apart, he called; and those he called, he put right with himself, and he shared his glory with them.
Indeed, many are called but few are chosen. God calls all of us but only a few have chosen to really know and love Him. Only a few have accepted Him as their Lord and Saviour. But salvation was already given to us all. We can only be chosen if we choose to. Choose to accept, follow and live for Him for the rest of our days. Isn't it beautiful this phrase, "in all things God works for good with those who love him"? This gives us assurance that God will take good care of us. How would you like to choose Him every waking day?
Here is a song that I just discovered. It is entitled "Chosen Generation" by one of the best in Christian Music Industry, Chris Tomlin. Enjoy! God bless! :)
Earlier, we finally pushed through with our walking/jogging session at Pelaez Sports Complex. I was with Janet and my SFC household sisters and 2 brothers. Here is a pic as evidence. Haha!
After the chika/walking/jog sesh, EJ went ahead and we went to Jollibee got myself, sis jov and JP some ice cream. Then, we proceeded to walk to Tsinoy's Dimsum since Rachelle, James, She and Laiza haven't had dinner yet. We parted ways and called it a night.
At the Swit's pad, I was so sleepy, but before I did, I went ahead and posted another blog about God's message I received a few month back. Here is the link to it entitled, Desert.
This time I didn't write any of my prayers. So here is the scripture I was lead to Psalm 91.
God Our Protector
91 Whoever goes to the Lord for safety,
whoever remains under the protection of the Almighty,
2 can say to him,
“You are my defender and protector.
You are my God; in you I trust.”
3 He will keep you safe from all hidden dangers
and from all deadly diseases.
4 He will cover you with his wings;
you will be safe in his care;
his faithfulness will protect and defend you.
5 You need not fear any dangers at night
or sudden attacks during the day
6 or the plagues that strike in the dark
or the evils that kill in daylight.
7 A thousand may fall dead beside you,
ten thousand all around you,
but you will not be harmed.
8 You will look and see
how the wicked are punished.
9 You have made the Lord your[a] defender,
the Most High your protector,
10 and so no disaster will strike you,
no violence will come near your home.
11 God will put his angels in charge of you
to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
to keep you from hurting your feet on the stones.
13 You will trample down lions and snakes,
fierce lions and poisonous snakes.
14 God says, “I will save those who love me
and will protect those who acknowledge me as Lord.
15 When they call to me, I will answer them;
when they are in trouble, I will be with them.
I will rescue them and honor them.
16 I will reward them with long life;
I will save them.”
It's amazing how God promises us these things. When we know for a fact, that we are sinners and therefore, unworthy of His love. Still, His love for us is unconditional and everlasting.
I have written this during one of those silent moments a few months back. I wasn't able to take note of the date, but I found it on my notebook and figured, I wasn't able to post it yet. It's a message I received from Him in the moment when my spiritual life was so dry as a desert. Sometimes it's a good thing because only then I was able to sincerely bring myself into prayer.
Listen closely. Here it goes.
"I am your God, the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. Be with me my child. I have longed to see you and be with me. I love you so much, so much. I gave my son. Listen. Listen to my word. I love you all. How could you not realize that I love you and I always will. I have drawn you out from your shame and suffering, from your sin and guilt. I have saved you to be forever mine. Do not worry. Do not worry of worldly earth. You are with me and I am with you. I have beautiful plans for you to prosper. So do not be afraid to be with me, to follow me. I will save you and keep you from harm and evil. I will protect you with my mighty hand.
I am your Sheild, your Fortress, your Salvation. I am your God, the Almighty. Forever, I will be with you to hold you, keep you safe, and love you no metter what. I am Jesus. I am your Love. I will be your Light in your darkest hour. I will take care of your every pain. All of your hurts, I have it. I hold it close to my heart because you are dear to me. You are as important to me as a grain of sand, no matter how innumerable it is. You are important because you are uniquely you. You are special on your own. I love you. I have created you in my image and likeness. You are my children.
I am your God who loves you so. Do not be afraid to walk with me because I will keep you safe. I will hold you in my right hand. You will walk in my Righteousness. I will lead you. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Nobody can come to my Father, unless through me. So I say, forgive and love one another because I have loved and forgiven you. You are my disciples. My delight. My treasures. My gems. My precious children. My sons and daughters. Be obedient. Trust me. Follow me. I will give you your full. And you will be satisfied. I am the Living Water. Only I can satisfy your thrist. No one else can. I love you my children. Do not be afraid and I love you always."
God never fails to remind us to not be afraid, that He is with us and that He loves us so much. It always amazes me how God speaks to us through events or in the silence of our hearts. If only we listen closely enough. Only then, will we be free of all the cares of this earth, to live in His love and have peace only He can give.
I was supposed to head to Iligan, to attend a vigil of my friend's mom, but I decided to attend the Christian Character Weekend Retreat instead. This time not as a participant but as one of the service team and also, to give moral support to my household sisters. I don't know why but I was set to leave for Iligan but something in me urged me to stay and attend the event. I guess God wanted me to once again be reminded of how it is to be like Christ. The genuine goodness of Jesus that should be emulated.
"Oh God, my Lord, Jesus Christ, forgive me. I have done many hurtful things to You. I haven't been as obedient as I liked to be. I have done things I am not proud of at all. I have allowed darkness to control me, to take me over. Yes, I am unworthy of Your sweet love. I am a sinner. Forgive me my Lord. May You find it in your sacred heart to forgive my sins, all my negativity. I lift it all up. I offer everything. I surrender. The hardness of my heart. The shattered pieces of my heart. I don't have anything to offer You but my brokenness. Empty my cup, oh Lord that You may once again fill me with Your Holy Spirit. Cleanse my mind. Purify my heart. Yes, Lord, set me apart for You. Because I want to belong to You. I am Yours and You are mine. Yes, Lord, my life, this life, this precious life You have gifted me, I give it back to You to glorify and praise You. You deserve all of praise. You deserve all my heart. You deserve all of me. You deserve the best of me. Simply because, You are the Best God. You are My Everything. Everything makes sense with You.You make everything worthwhile, oh God. You are everything to me. I love You. I thank You for being a wonderful, loving, patient, forgiving, amazing God! I shall want nothing more than to please you all my life, My Beautiful God!" - Vanz
This has been the first of my favorite slow songs since time immemorial. In moments when you feel restless, you can just listen to this song and you'll feel a whole lot better. I am a restless soul myself. I easily get anxious over little things. So whenever I here this, I am reminded to just be still and know that God is God. He has got me covered.
Oh wow! How do I start? Again failed to have my nightly prayer time. So naturally, I did it the following morning instead. (Haha) Oh well, last night I was supposed to go home early. While we were coaching, it was already raining hard and it didn't stop for quite some time. It doesn't seem to slow down. Since almost everyone left the office, I decided to just go to my sis' pad. But of course, the jeep was full as well as the taxi. I was somehow glad I was wearing heels, that way, my feet wasn't that submerged in water. Lol. After a while, I got tired of waiting for the ride. Since I was beginning to get hungry, I went to buy a loaf bread to bring home (ended giving it to someone else) and ate baked siopao then, drank my fave drink, Chuckie! I was so satisfied with dinner. Haha! I waited out the rain. It slowed down and poured again. Darn!
It was really quite hard to get home. I wasn't comfortable walking around alone. So, I called Jessie to see if she is already here. But she was still on her way back to the city. I called sis She. She was at a birthday party with James. I decided to go to Mcdo to use the bathroom. Later, ordered me some fries which surprisingly I was not able to finish. I was guilty of eating it. I mean, I didn't like eating it. I was too oily. Lol. #Mindsetting Diet mode kuno. Char lng. I'm quite an impatient person. I easily get bored waiting. Good thing I have my pen and notebook with me to keep me company. I was able to write another piece at that moment. She and James arrived. We talked. Then, Harold, Sydney, Marky and Christie arrived after. They were supposed to watch a movie at Moviefy but some already went home and Mark and Christie also were going to work. Harold was so sleepy. He headed home as well. So they decided to postponed it to another time. She, James, Sydney and I, were the only ones left. We talked. We talked a lot. We exchanged stories about life, mysterious things, and glorious things. It was fun. Sydney went home around 12 midnight, Gosh, we weren't aware she still has work the following morning. We decided to call it a night. But back at the boarding house, Jessie and her friend were still talking. She and James didn't feel like going home yet. Eventually, we ended up, having videoke nearby. We went home 3am and I was able to sleep at 6 in the morning. Woke up by around 10am. That is why I feel light headed. Oh my. Not good. So much for the 10pm sleep time goal. Huh! Moving along, let's get serious. It's prayer time!
"Oh Lord, my God, I thank you for the day that has been, all the fun and laughter. Thank you for the experiences that you have allowed me to experience. Lord, grabe! I am grateful. I am so blessed by your love. Thank you for the affirmations that you send through events and the people around me. Thank you for every answered prayer, joy, and pain, for success and disappointments. Thank you for your overflowing me with many gifts. The gift of life, family, work, community, love, friendship, faith, healing, wisdom, knowledge, tongues, music, peace, miracles and all the other gifts you have given that remained unnoticed. Allow me to acknowledge all your gifts that I may recognize more of your presence in my life, and I glorify you more each waking day of my life. I thank you, Lord, for your goodness and faithfulness in me. Jesus, I will never be tired of praising and thanking you just as the sun shines every morning and the moon glows at night. Lord, looking back on all the things I have been through. I am grateful that you have always been there, even if there were times when you seemed distant and silent. Now, I see how you were working to pick up the broken pieces of me and put them back together. I see how gloriously orchestrated your plan even if it was painful in the process. Still, I appreciate you effort. All the things good or bad, it was all for my benefit. Thank you for every hurt. It is worth every lesson. I pray, oh Lord, please continue to work with me in this journey. Continue to make me an instrument of your love and pace to others. Use me oh God to bring healing to this cruel world and heal me as well. You know my every pain. You know what keeps me up at night. You know my every thought during the day. You know my deepest desires, desires that I may not be even aware of. My God, I thank you for the grace of making the right decisions. As always Lord, I lift up to you these things. I need your guidance and protection to always have the strength and courage to choose what is pleasing to you. Grant me the grace oh Lord, to choose you above all things. I desire to be with you all the days of my life and I delight in nothing more than to be in your loving arms. My One True Love. My Precious God. My Saviour King. My Redeemer. My Friend. My Everything. My World. The One I love.” - Vanz
I continued my scripture reading at a later time. I was lead to these three bible verses.
Prophecy against the King of Tyre
Ezekiel 28:1-10
The Lord spoke to me. 2 “Mortal man,” he said, “tell the ruler of Tyre what I, the Sovereign Lord, am saying to him: Puffed up with pride, you claim to be a god. You say that like a god you sit on a throne, surrounded by the seas. You may pretend to be a god, but, no, you are mortal, not divine. 3 You think you are wiser than Danel, that no secret can be kept from you. 4 Your wisdom and skill made you rich with treasures of gold and silver. 5 You made clever business deals and kept on making profits. How proud you are of your wealth!
6 “Now then, this is what I, the Sovereign Lord, am saying: Because you think you are as wise as a god, 7 I will bring ruthless enemies to attack you. They will destroy all the beautiful things you have acquired by skill and wisdom. 8 They will kill you and send you to a watery grave. 9 When they come to kill you, will you still claim that you are a god? When you face your murderers, you will be mortal and not at all divine. 10 You will die like a dog at the hand of godless foreigners. I, the Sovereign Lord, have given the command.”
Jesus' Teaching on Prayer Luke 11:1-13
One day Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”
2 Jesus said to them, “When you pray, say this:
‘Father: May your holy name be honored; may your Kingdom come. 3 Give us day by day the food we need.[a] 4 Forgive us our sins, for we forgive everyone who does us wrong. And do not bring us to hard testing.’”
5 And Jesus said to his disciples, “Suppose one of you should go to a friend's house at midnight and say, ‘Friend, let me borrow three loaves of bread. 6 A friend of mine who is on a trip has just come to my house, and I don't have any food for him!’ 7 And suppose your friend should answer from inside, ‘Don't bother me! The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.’8 Well, what then? I tell you that even if he will not get up and give you the bread because you are his friend, yet he will get up and give you everything you need because you are not ashamed to keep on asking.9 And so I say to you: Ask, and you will receive; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. 10 For those who ask will receive, and those who seek will find, and the door will be opened to anyone who knocks. 11 Would any of you who are fathers give your son a snake when he asks for fish? 12 Or would you give him a scorpion when he asks for an egg? 13 As bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will the Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”
The Return of the Evil Spirit
Luke 11:24-26
24 “When an evil spirit goes out of a person, it travels over dry country looking for a place to rest. If it can't find one, it says to itself, ‘I will go back to my house.’ 25 So it goes back and finds the house clean and all fixed up. 26 Then it goes out and brings seven other spirits even worse than itself, and they come and live there. So when it is all over, that person is in worse shape than at the beginning.”
With these bible verses, I believe God is reminding us that everything belongs to Him and we should be careful in our thoughts and action as we might claim the victories we have is ours and ours alone. We should not therefore, be puffed up with pride and remember God is the maker of all things. All credit must be given to the righteous giver. Even if God already know everything about us, He reminds us to persevere in prayer as this is the only way that He will be able to know for certain what we truly need and want. And lastly, to be on guard in protecting our faith in Him as the evil can return anytime to ruin our relationship with God and once again fade away in the darkness where we once were.
This is another beautiful song from Hillsong entitled "You are My World". It's kind of a dedication song God being our world.
I was not able to have my prayer time last night before sleeping. Instead, I decided to do it the following morning before going to the office. My friend, Janet, and Audie and I went for a walk at Pelaez Sports Complex. We have long been wanting to establish a healthy lifestyle and sweat out all of the "extras". So, last night was a good start. We had a couple of rounds at the oval and went up and down the stairs as well. We had siomai noodles for dinner at Chowking. Then, I headed and slept at my sister's pad.
Earlier that day, I think that was late afternoon or was it evening already, I was once again reminded how life is so fleeting. I received a sad news from my barkada, Punky, that our other barkada's mom has just passed. I was shocked. We all were. The last time we visited their home, her mom was there smiling and she looked pretty well. But I guess, it's her time to go. She did have an illness but I have yet to know what really happened. I honestly don't know what to say to my friend. I chatted her over Facebook. I know no words will ever comfort her. Losing someone, it's just heart breaking. She and her mom were very close. I was reminded how death is just around the corner. It's just a matter of time who goes next, who gets called back to Him.
Here is a song that just played to me upon waking up this morning. I don't know how these songs just get to me, especially when I just awoke! I mean, it just weirdly plays on my mind out of nowhere and I can't seem to get it off my mind until I hear it over and over again. So, to remedy, I put it on loop on Youtube. I know! It's just crazy and weird that way! Right? Haha!
As the song goes,
Cause these are the days worth living These are the years we're given And these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter Because these are the moments These are the times Let's make the best out of our lives
"Our Lives" by The Calling one of the bands I truly love. Beautiful!
I'm quite conscious praying with my sister just at the bedside. I usually pray alone. I avoid being distracted because I can easily get distracted. Anyways, I'm sure she doesn't mind and I believe she saw me pray before.
"Lord, I thank you for letting me see the things that truly matter. Thank you for allowing me to little by little to open my mind and heart, to be forgiving and not condemning. I forgive those who have hurt me in one way or the other. And I ask forgiveness for the times I've been weak and show no restraint or self-control. Thank you for giving me the strength to to brave and bold enough to speak my heart out. Even if it's not entirely everything yet. But yes, I am trying to be as honest as I can, to be true as I can be. Thank you for not giving up on me even in times when I have given up on myself. Thank you for being you, my God. I know it has never been easy, your role. I know it hasn't been easy loving. I know sometimes I go around making simple things complicated and totally ignoring you. I'm stubborn that way! I know. Help me to truly put you first above all. My hopes and dreams, my heart's desires may it be according to your will, not mine. I trust and believe that you know what is best for me. Please continue to bless, guide, protect me, my family and friends and their families too. I pray for those who don't know you. I pray that they be saved by your grace that they too may experience how sweet it is to be loved by you. I pray for the lost and the lonely, the desperate and desolate, those who have lost their loved ones may you show them your love and mercy overflowing. Remind them oh Lord, that no matter how painful and difficult the situation is, that you are with them holding their hand, carrying them through the bitterness. And in your most perfect time everything will fall into it's proper place. May you bless them with the gift of acceptance, so that they can move forward with their lives knowing and trusting that you are in control and that all is well. Your wisdom is something that we can never fathom. Praise to you, Oh Lord! My God and Saviour! Thank you for your faithfulness!" - Vanz
I was not able to bring a bible for my bible cutting. But my sister has a Footprints Scripture with Reflections by Margaret Fishback Power, so I used it instead. These are the verses that I had laid my eyes on. It came from the last page (Page 28) of the topic under:
God Is With Us - In the Hard Times
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
"He knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I
will come forth as gold."
- Job 23:10
"I will be glad and rejoice in
your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish
of my soul."
- Psalm 31:7
"When you pass through the
waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the
rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the
fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you
ablaze."
-Isaiah 43:2
Here is another beautiful song. It always soothes my soul. I just love the bridge part:
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart for what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity
Cheers! Better prep now, still have many things to do. Until later! :)
So I'm on my second night prayer time. It's past 12 midnight, though. I've been stalling the night away watching buzzfeed videos on youtube. I'm supposed to be praying by 9 in the evening. Better if it would be earlier like 8 or 7 probably because I have set my sleeping time to be at 10pm. I have always been a night owl. Although, I have always wanted to be early to bed so I can be early to rise, but much to my stubbornness and perhaps because I'm so used to it, I find myself again, and again sleeping late. Well, we all know of the benefits of resting early. Complete body and beauty rest!! Argggh! I wonder when will I ever get rid of my eye bags when I can't even sleep early!?!
Anyways, I was tempted to sleep already but then again, my effort for starting a habit, with this daily prayer marathon yesterday, would all be in vain if I wouldn't go through with it. Besides, I decided to document my prayer time so I can keep track of my progress as I go along.
Well, earlier when I woke up I noticed this Rick Warren link that I have book marked many months ago. I think I might have accidentally clicked it upon opening the browser. I found myself listening to the topic "The Habits of Happiness". It is very insightful. I encourage you to listen to it here:Five Daily Habits for Happiness, Part 1.
I have long adored yoga and I have been obsessed getting into the habit. I have downloaded morning and evening yoga routines so I can easily follow it anytime. But then, a dear friend of mine mentioned that yoga is a Satanic ritual. I then, curiously researched the validity of what she said. And true enough, I found articles and videos justifying why yoga is satanic. Although at first, I thought that it's just ridiculous and way over the top accusations! When I see that it's simply harmless stretch routines that will help keep you healthy. But then again, evil has its many clever ways to hide behind beautiful, wonderful, tempting things. Now, I do realize that, although, it may look harmless on the surface, but its origin and design is not ideally for Christian believers. Primarily because, it's of the Hindu culture where they worship gods or deities. Therefore, as a believer, one should not mingle with anything other than the worship of our one true God - the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Yoga does not in any way associate itself with worshiping Jesus. It does otherwise. I told my sister about this. Darn! She just recently got a yoga mat. That was a few weeks ago. I even got excited for her. As I was always telling her, how cool it would be to practice it. Lol. But now, I know better. I know it may sound crazy so starting today, I'll be avoiding yoga and take walks or a run instead. Here is the article I have read: Testimony of deliverance from a demon of yoga. The writer has been a practitioner for 10 years and has since then completely shun yoga from her life.
God has been so generous to me. I am so grateful for everything he has done and sacrificed. I know I don't deserve it at all, but still he is so gracious in his love that he just keeps on giving!!!
"My good God. Gracious God. Generous God. Beautiful God. My Lord. My Love. My World. My Hope. My Strength. My Saviour. My Messiah. My Bestfriend. My Lover. My Confidant. I adore You. I praise You. I glorify your name. Blessed are You, oh God whose love is unwavering! You are most kind, and humble, and loving, and understanding, and adorable! How can I ever show how much you mean to me? How can I ever repay even the littlest of things? How can I ever love you? You have always been an amazing God! You have done wonders that no one can never comprehend. You surprise me. You are simply a Great God! How can I ask more of you? You have already given your all, your best. Yes, you are at times a silent God. I get anxious but you remind me you are there. You know my deepest hurts, my darkest secrets. You know every inch of me. You know me better than I know myself. Still you love me just the same. And I can't be overwhelmed enough by your grace than I already am. I can never get over the fact that you are here for me. I can never get over the fact that you have always been here. Always. I am just grateful. Grateful. For your sincerity. For your selflessness. For your great love for me. I can never get over the fact that you know the ugliest of me and still you love me just the same. Yes. I love you too! " - Vanz
The bible verse He has for me today is from the Book of Psalm:
God and His People (Psalm 78)
1 Listen, my people, to my teaching, and pay attention to what I say.
2 I am going to use wise sayings and explain mysteries from the past,
3 things we have heard and known, things that our ancestors told us.
4 We will not keep them from our children; we will tell the next generation
about the Lord's power and his great deeds and the wonderful things he has done.
5 He gave laws to the people of Israel and commandments to the descendants of Jacob.
He instructed our ancestors to teach his laws to their children,
6 so that the next generation might learn them and in turn should tell their children.
7 In this way they also will put their trust in God and not forget what he has done,
but always obey his commandments.
8 They will not be like their ancestors, a rebellious and disobedient people,
whose trust in God was never firm and who did not remain faithful to him.
I was telling Him to speak to me as his servant is listening. I have repeatedly said to give me the message he wants me to hear that I may listen and take it at heart. And yes, indeed he really does want me to listen. I know right?! I don't usually believe in coincidence but I do believe in fate. And this, I believe is what fate is all about. Listen and Be Faithful. I told you He answers!!! :)
This is one of the beautiful songs that have helped me get through the "trying times". It gave me that sense of peace. It is called "Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. And in all honesty, it has helped me in making the right decisions.
Until tomorrow! I better sleep it's almost 3am! Arrgggh!
I'm trying to revive my prayer time. It's been a struggle. I remember a moment when I was able to endure long hours in my prayer time. It could be an hour or as long as 3 hours or the whole day! I was so joyful and at peace during those times, even if circumstances weren't great at all. Instead, it was chaotic. But surprisingly, now, when I look back how things were, I realize I was exactly where I needed to be. It's was during those times I found and fell in love with God. And since then, it has not been easy this "relationship" but it's always worth it. I know I am so blessed to have known, love, and be loved by him.
Now, going back, it seems that every month I try to revive my prayer time and fail again. So anyway, here is another attempt. Hopefully, I am really able to make it a habit. I just want to document this moment so I can read back to it in the years to come. :)
"You have made me real. Time and time again. It's you oh Lord! Only you, who can wipe my tears away, take my pain and make it beautiful. Only you can do these marvelous things! I am always overwhelmed by your presence. Everytime I feel hopelessly desperate you remind me that you are with me. That I am saved by grace. That I am loved. That I am precious. That I am your Princess and you are my King, my Father. That only you can satisfy me. Only you can love me like you do. Pardon me oh Lord for seeing things through my eyes, for being mediocre, for being lazily complacent. Pardon me for putting you on the sidelines and believeing the impossible, when with you nothing will ever be impossible. My God, I love you so much. And I am ashamed of what I have done and what I have failed to do. I ask for your forgiveness. I ask for your grace. Pull me out of my misery, in all things that is holding me down. Help me to become the person you want me to be. I don't know how, oh God. Please help me. Mold me. Use me. Make me an instrument of your love and peace. Help me to be your faithful servant. I long for nothing more than to be with you in this life and the life to come. I love you so much Lord. I love you and nothing can change that. You are my Past, my Present, my Future. My One and Only True God. My True Love. " -Vanz
After that, I also prayed for my personal intentions and other peoples' petition. And I asked God to speak to me through bible cutting and that I may acknowledge his answers in the days to come. Well, here is the bible cutting verse that I had.
9
“In order that people will praise my name,
I am holding my anger in check;
I am keeping it back and will not destroy you.
10
I have tested you in the fire of suffering,
as silver is refined in a furnace.
But I have found that you are worthless.
11
What I do is done for my own sake—
I will not let my name be dishonored
or let anyone else share the glory
that should be mine and mine alone.” - Isaiah 48:9-11
Hmmm.. God seems to be mad at me. I haven't been doing what I should have. I know, I am guilty as charged! I know right. I haven't really put him first as what I always intend to do. I mostly fail at keeping my prayer time with him. And we all know that God is a jealous God. He doesn't want anything nor anyone getting in the way of our relationship with him. He wants to be the first in all we do. He wants to be our "go-to-guy" whether things are smoothly going as planned or things are falling apart. He wants to be the first in. He wants to be the first to know. He wants to be the one you consult to. That is how he is. Mainly because he wants to be involved in the lives we live. He wants us to acknowledge him, his presence in our lives even if we don't see him because he wants us to know and to always remember that he is with us. Oh well, these are just some of the things I learned and realized through the years. And I'm looking forward to his answers in the days to come. He never fails to answer my every question or desire. It's just amazing!
Let me share a beautiful song to you entitled, Hungry by Kathryn Scott. Warning: It cuts through the heart! It's just lovely! I love it!
Until tomorrow! Cheers! God is good all the time! :)
Last August 14, 2016, the Couples for Christ, together with its family Ministries, had its annual ANCOP Global Walk. This initiative is to raise awareness and funds for underprivileged children who are not able to reach their full potential because of the lack of financial support. ANCOP stands for Answering the Cry of the Poor. It has been its 6th year now since it was launched back in 2011. This is not my 1st time to join the said event, though. I had attended this when I was in Iligan and Cebu years ago but I wasn't able to join the yearly event as I would like to. I really appreciate what the scholarship program is all about. So, this time, I made sure I am present.
The call time was 5am and there was a mass at 6am before the walk begins. It was held at the Provincial Capitol Grounds. It started on time, however, there were having some technical difficulty with the sound system that in the middle of the mass it didn't work. So, the priest had to continue the usual flow of the mass but skip the homily because no one would still be able to hear him even if he talked. After the mass was the walk. We passed through Divisoria to the Rotunda where we had a U-turn to return to the Capitol. When we were back , before we were dismissed, the head thanked everyone for joining the event.
I was really struck with the closing worship songs (We'll be Faithful, Redeeming Love, Refiner's Fire), especially with We'll be Faithful because it brings me back to a time when I was still working in Cebu I was also actively serving the Singles for Christ then. There were times in my service that I am overwhelmed with laziness. And I will always remember this one time, I was watching a movie series at the apartment. It was CLP (Christian Life Program) season and I was supposed to be on my way to the venue but instead, I just lazily lay there watching TV. I told God, "Lord, kapoy man lakaw oi". And you know what? Suddenly that song, We'll be Faithful kept playing on my mind! It just popped out of nowhere! As in literally!
The song goes like this:
"And we'll be faithful to our calling
For you are able to keep us from falling
For in your promise
We will trust
We'll be faithful to finish the work you began in us"
It kept on playing on and on and on. It seems to be set on a playback! Oh my! What am I to do? I just couldn't resist the Holy Spirit leading me to get up and go. So, I did. That is why that song will always be memorable because of that one moment.
It's really amazing how God reaches to us in many ways and events. The other two songs which I also like very much, Redeeming Love and Refiner's Fire, struck me as well. In fact, the 3 songs are perfectly combined to touch me. Although, I have been serving the community there are still doubts, fears, and anxiety that lingers. At times, I am too weak to defend myself. I am thankful despite my being a sinner God doesn’t stop reaching out to me in many ways than one. He constantly answers my prayers and there are also times He is just silent and that is just fine. I know that He is always here to guide and protect. He is just so AMAZING!
